The Cartel Takedown Page 6

  One of the leaders met Lea at the door. Smiling he offered her his hand. She slapped it away. He tried to grab her but she easily sidestepped him. Starbuck slapped the General’s shoulder. “We need to stop that.”

  The General didn’t respond well. “Sir I am on the telephone. Whatever your problems are they must wait.”

  Starbuck left him there, running for the door. Akhim and Jose were heading there too. The other members of the death squad stood up and formed a wide, loose circle around Brandie. She didn’t look too concerned but Akhim could tell she had already located and noted every weapon either on one of the men or within reach. Most likely she had already plotted the route she would take when she cut through the crowd.

  These clowns had no idea what was about to hit them.

  Jose was second to reach the front door. Brandie was still dancing out of reach, alternately teasing and taunting the big men. She was short, strong, fast, and very flexible. They couldn’t touch her and it was frustrating them.

  They took it out on Jose. No sooner had he stepped through the door when a fist connected with his nose. He stiffened and fell straight backward. A boot to the back of his head broke his fall, if not his neck.

  “Oh shit.” Akhim said softly, but he spoke loudly enough for Starbuck to hear. Starbuck grabbed his arm and dragged him along. “I don’t know what strings you can pull but now is the time to pull them. We’re one step away from killing all those guys.”

  “If they’re the only ones going down, I could live with that.”

  “But they won’t be. I’ll lose men, too, and believe it or not I like my employees.”

  “I believe you. I have an idea but you may not like it.”

  “Does it involve me dying?”

  “No sir.”

  “Then I don’t hate it.” Starbuck held up his hand to Akhim, “Don’t explain. Just start talking. I’ll catch up.”

  Akhim whispered a silent prayer to all the Gods he didn’t believe in and touched the cartoon puppy icon on his cell phone. It sat up, did a little dance, cocked an ear, and waited. He dropped the phone into his breast pocket and started talking.

  “Certainly they’re big enough, but are they smart enough? In your line of work brains are at least as important as firepower or muscle.”

  Starbuck smiled. “Oh no. Brains are much more important than brawn. I’d rather have Jose working for me even if he is knocked out.”

  “You know there is an underground online university for gang members.”

  “I had not heard of that.”

  “Yes we, that is, Hollywood, uses it for research all the time. It’s something like M S thirteen university.”

  “Those hacks?”

  “That’s just the name. It all started when Central American countries started sending their gang recruits to Los Angeles for training. Those who went north came back leaders. They learned the latest sales and marketing techniques, and they knew about manufacturing and distribution from field to street.”

  Akhim knelt beside Jose just in time to duck beneath a roundhouse kick. Starbuck caught the man’s foot, twisted, and lifted it high over his head. The big man on the other end of the foot spun once in the air then smacked his head on the ground. Starbuck dropped the man’s foot and glared at the others. His own men had gathered around the outside of the death squad circle. They carried sub machine guns and machetes.

  The death squad was looking deathly pale.

  “Let me guess. Everyone wanted to go stateside and apprentice to a drug lord but there weren’t drug lords to go around and it cost a fortune to send recruits stateside.”

  “Right! Then some enterprising jailbird started recruiting convicts to teach online classes. It’s said their faculty is serving a combined total of over eight hundred thirty seven years which includes time off for good behavior. Otherwise it would be up over a thousand.”

  “Do you think any of these… military lunkheads could even get admission?”

  “Certainly. They offer a few specialty certificate programs along with bachelor of arts and science and masters degrees. They aren’t some fly by night operation. I have it on good authority that Al Pacino’s character Tony Montana in the movie Scarface was based on the life of the former dean of students. He even consulted on the film.”

  The preliminary dancing around fighting had stopped. The death squad, and most of Starbuck’s men, were openly eavesdropping on Starbuck and Akhim.

  “Would I know of this man? Who is he?”

  “He is, alas, no longer with us. He suffered an accident while visiting the High Desert State Prison in California. He fell on a plastic fork approximately thirty times.”

  “Ahh.” Starbuck nodded his understanding. “Regrettable I am sure. Isn’t that one of those supermax correctional facilities?”

  Jose was conscious and with some help struggled to his feet. “Thank you, mister Gudam.”

  “Please. Call me Akhim. We’re all friends here, and yes it is a supermax prison but it was designed to hold only about two thousand people. Right now it houses more than thirty-five hundred men.”

  “Yes but how many of them are on the M S Thirteen faculty?”

  Akhim laughed. “I have absolutely no idea, nor do I know if they offer group tuition breaks or if they accept crypto-currancies.”

  Starbuck turned to face the semi-circle of men, looking each man in the eye. What the men saw was a thin, middle aged man with no sign of compassion in his eyes. He waited on each man until they looked down, or looked away, and then he moved on. Without saying a word he made it clear that anyone who broke the peace would die immediately.

  “Are any of you interested in learning something?”

  The gathered guards raised their hands. So did Jose, and after a little hesitation, so did all the members of the death squad.

  9. 9

  What in the lowest depths of high holy hell were they thinking? Do they have any idea how hard it is to set up a college e-campus?

  Charlie was pacing in his cramped office wishing not for the first time that he had splurged and rented a larger space. Okay, okay… top down. That’s how to tackle this catastrophic mess. How did those idiots come up with this stuff? Didn’t they understand that this wasn’t as easy as faking a close-cover-before-striking matchbook correspondence school?

  Standing over his desk he attacked his keyboard like it was his most hated enemy. The first eight domain names he tried had already been taken proving yet again that the world was a sick, sick place. His ninth try yielded a barely acceptable handle.

  He registered it immediately, making sure to hide his identity and obfuscate all clues pointing to the website owner. While he was waiting on the hosting service to set up the account he checked the landing pages of all the top Ivy League colleges and universities.

  The visuals were too pastoral and dignified for his tastes. Gangsta U needed a gritty, edgy, urban jungle at night feel. Faceless bodies on night street corners lit by dimmed street lamps. Blacks, reds, deep blues and oranges dominated by shades of gray. Scary, with hints of violence and rage. Just the mood he was looking for.

  Now he needed to hint at untold wealth and power. A few sexy women, a stretch limo with windows and fenders marred by bullet holes. Maybe a pile of Benjamins somewhere? In the front? Nah that’s too in your face and makes it look too easy, but if he put the money in the back it could get lost… was the picture becoming too busy? He went back and looked at the websites for the big state universities. Yup, his background image was too cluttered. Less would be more. He had to dial it back.

  His final choice was a mashup. A silhouette shot of the Los Angeles skyline at night with a street scene in the lower right hand corner. The colors were dark, but the image implied the school would provide both a long view and a close-up view of the issues surrounding illegal drug empire management. He was very proud of that picture and he finished it just as the website went live. He loaded the landing page immediately and texted the link to damn-
his-imagination Akhim.

  The navigation bar had to be next. That would require even more research. What was this? The website was already being pinged. People were visiting it and he hadn’t finished setting it up! His fingers danced across three keyboards, downloading an “under construction” image, creating a navigation bar with all links pointing to the under construction image, and uploading it.

  For his own privacy and security, Charlie had the so-called school website’s administrative email address protected by half a dozen forwarding email accounts. Despite the message delivery delay inherent in such a cumbersome system he was already getting emails. None were from anywhere remotely near Brandie and Akhim. What were the search engines doing by listing his site already and how many people around the globe were searching for careers in drug dealing? Were people that desperate or that jaded or both? Such things only reinforced Charlie’s opinion that the planet needed a new dominant species.

  He composed a boilerplate response “Dear Students, Potential Students, and alumni: Please forgive our website’s current condition. We have been hacked by rivals from Russia and/or China. We are working tirelessly to repair the damage done, track down the vandals responsible, and exact revenge. Please be patient.”

  After configuring the auto-responder he returned to work on the navigation bar. He needed a virtual tour, most of which he stole from virtual tours created by documentary filmmakers glamorizing supermax prisons, augmented by virtual tours of high tech company “campuses”. Faculty and administration names and biographies took more time, if only because their portraits had to be wholly faked but had to appear real. It wouldn’t do to use stock photos as stand-ins for hardened criminal masterminds, especially since it was way too easy to identify them as fake.

  The first two links on the navigation bar were easiest:

  MISSION STATEMENT

  We understand that to step into success, sometimes you have to bend the rules and maybe step on a few toes. Our goal is for every one of our students to succeed. We are dedicated to providing knowledge and opportunity to the under-served masses at an affordable price.

  WELCOME STATEMENT

  WELCOME

  Maybe he should reverse those two… nah.

  The course lists were exhausting. He searched the dark web for discussions about international drug dealing. Oddly enough there were no such discussions active. It was almost as if drug dealers did not want to share the tricks of the trade, the rat bastards? Who did they think they were? Celebrities?

  Real schools offered lots of courses. Too many courses, and most of them were, frankly, useless. They were as likely to lead to employment as they were to help students win the lottery. Then he hit upon a solution. Was it a brilliant fix? Nope. He didn’t have time to care.

  DEGREES

  A sample of degrees available:

  Processing certification for coca, marijuana, methamphetamine, and opium. More specialized fields are being added. 1 year program

  BA Degrees

  Business Management

  Human Resources

  Hospitality

  Marketing and Sales

  Legal Consulting

  BS Degrees

  Distillation - from bootleg hooch to crack cocaine

  Psychotropics - designer highs that might be legal

  Chemical Engineering

  Botany

  Agricultural Science

  Masters Degrees

  No programs are available at this time, however department heads can provide post-graduate guided study programs at their discretion.

  COURSE LISTING

  A sample of courses available:

  From Field To Factory – An overview of cultivation and processing best practices

  Econ 101 – Introduction to the principles of modern underground capitalism

  New Methods In Money Laundering – Currency exchange, fine art sales, international stock markets, and bribing bankers. Which methods are right for your business?

  SEO SOS – Search engine optimization on the Dark Web

  After Silk Road – new opportunities on the Dark Web

  What to do when your product is legalized? A panel discussion

  Indoor Verses Outdoor – Agricultural Science. An overview of farming methods, plus a cost/benefit analysis of modern agribusiness techniques.

  “A sample”. Who knew such a simple phrase could save so much work? Charlie checked the school’s email. Seventeen auto-responses had already been sent and he’d only been working on the pseudo school for ninety minutes. He sighed and rubbed his eyes. If only he had more time. If only Akhim wasn’t such a clever son of a – eighteen. The eighteenth auto-response was sent by M S Thirteen U.

  Quickly he went back to work.

  LETTER FROM THE PRESIDENT

  Fulgencio Perone’, President For Life

  A hearty welcome. You are to be commended for making the first step in taking control of your life.

  I was once like you. I had no money, no education, no contacts, and no prospects. Through hard work and perseverance I achieved great things, but it took me decades to learn what we can now teach in one, two, four, or six years.

  FACULTY LIST

  Fulgencio Perone’ - President and Economics Department head. Born in Vaduz, Lichtenstein, 1953, while his family was in exile. He pioneered the Lichtenstein Anstalt bank account privacy benefits for multiple international Swiss Banking interests. In 2017 Dr. Perone’ was elected president for life by the trustees. He currently resides in Montenegro, with homes in London, New York, Zurich, and of course his family’s estate in Lichtenstein.

  Professor Q – (name redacted) Internationally acclaimed expert in retail sales and distribution. With twenty plus years of field experience, he is the ultimate survivor in what many consider the toughest field in the industry. He currently resides at a Supermax correctional facility in Nevada’s high desert. Lectures are delivered via Skype.

  “Uncle” Vanya Ribbontropp – Department Head, Agricultural Science. He resides on the Brazil/Bolivia border. Lectures are delivered online. He encourages a junior year abroad and field study for department majors.

  He leaned back, rubbed his eyes, check on the ruined drug factory’s security camera feeds, and Brandie and Akhim’s phones. At least there were no more emergencies. He stood, stretched, and wandered into his kitchen. Tonight was a night for the espresso coffee beans. He used his high powered blender to grind half a bag. Enough to make two full twelve cup pot of the potent brew. He hoped it would be enough.

  ALUMNI

  Alumni Services: Please access through your alumni account.

  Praise from past graduates…

  B_ C_ III - My international banking experience is finally being put to good use. Thank you.

  D_ B_ - Job hopping has been the key to finding my niche and growing my career. Thank you for showing me the ropes. (deceased)

  K_ S_ - Finally a school that prepares their students for real world challenges and opportunities!

  P_ T_ F-C – After years in law enforcement I was ready to make a change. Now I make ten times my previous salary and have more time to spend with family and friends too.

  CAREER SERVICES / JOB PLACEMENT

  Please access through your student or alumni account.

  More than ninety eight percent of our graduates are working in the field in management or assistant management positions within three months of graduation. Our career services department is open to all alumni. We receive job opening notices daily so log in and check back often.

  SAMPLE JOB LISTINGS

  Regional Distributor – Upper Midwest United States. Well established territory, fifty million per year gross. Some travel required. Multi-lingual candidates given preference. Advancement potential. US citizens and non-citizens may apply. Equal Opportunity Employer.

  Import Specialist – Must have Merchant Marine and Charter Boat Captain's Credentials (or similar experience). Essential skills: High speed operations in foul w
eather. Good people skills. Multiple openings across the globe.

  Charlie smiled and leaned back. All he had left to do was registration and of course payment processing. After all, he had seventeen folks who wanted to register already.

  10. 10

  “I am disappointed that there are no graduate programs.”

  The General’s comment seemed out of place. Why would he care if a program set up to educate drug dealers offered graduate degrees? Starbuck sighed.

  “They offer guided post graduate studies. Isn’t that just as good?”